The Power of “What” Over “Why”

Hi everyone and welcome to the first edition of our PE Direct  top tip blog!

In this edition, we will be exploring the transformative power of a single word: “what.” That’s right! Instead of asking “why,” we are advocating for a shift to “what.” Let’s delve into this concept.

Imagine this scenario: a child, in a moment of frustration, loses their temper and uses inappropriate language. The typical response might be, “Why did you do that?” But what if we reframed the question?

Rather than focusing on the reasons “why,” let’s redirect the conversation towards “what.” So, instead of asking why they lost their temper, we might take a moment, remain composed, and ask, “what do we need to discuss?” You might be thinking, shouldn’t the child be reprimanded for their behaviour? Well, here’s the thing: if they knew why they acted out, they probably wouldn’t have done so in the first place. By shifting the focus to “what,” we are opening up a new realm of understanding and communication.

By asking, “what do we need to talk about?” they are prompted to reflect on their behaviour. They are aware that their actions were inappropriate, and simply making them feel bad for what they have done won’t help them change their behaviour. Perhaps they are struggling to articulate or understand why, and that’s okay! The important thing is that they have acknowledged what happened.

Here’s the kicker: the child can explain what they did, but they can’t necessarily explain why they did it. And that’s where the magic happens. Once they had the chance to voice what they did, we can give them the space and support to explore better responses for next time.

So, remember, the next time you’re confronted with a challenging situation, don’t immediately default to “why.” Instead, embrace the power of “what.” It’s not just about understanding; it’s about fostering open dialogue, empathy, and growth. By showing respect to the students in your care and helping them talk through their problems while remaining calm, you can make a significant impact

Don’t ask why….. ask what. It’s a game-changer! Give it a go, and start /keep asking those meaningful questions.